Two Years Post Adoption - What's it really like?

Wow.  Two years.  In so many ways, time has flow by.  In other ways, it seems like we have always had Grace in our lives.  She has been with us for just over two years.  It's funny to think of a time when she wasn't here.  It seems very natural that she is part of our family.  From time to time I forget that she looks different than we do (in fact, this week I had a woman tell me that she resembled me).  At other times, it is very obvious that our family was not made up in a totally traditional manner.  Having Grace start school  brought reminders that we are a family that has been blessed through adoption.  People notice differences.  People ask questions.

Celebrating two years home.  Grace drew pictures of "her" two flags.

So...the truth about adoption two years later...hmmm...I've sort of avoided writing this post, because I don't want to give the impression that our adoption was a breeze, but we have been very fortunate with Grace's adjustment.  

There are so many things to love about Grace. She is:

Friendly, Smart, Daring

Creative, Loving, Determined

Athletic, Kind, Beautiful

and, A little "spicy"

Grace's first trip to the ocean.  She was so excited!!!!

Grace's favorite things to do:

Gymnastics, dance, soccer, swing, ride her bike, draw, make "cards" for people, go to school

Grace's first season of soccer (I promise, her hair was not as crazy as it looks in this picture...)

There have been some tough times throughout the past two years. It's hard to write a blog about adoption/family life without sugar coating things.  I want to be transparent and "keep it real,"  but that's hard to do that when family, friends, and (possibly in the future) Grace will read the posts.  I would say that most of the tougher times relate to my relationship with Grace. It is different to parent a child that you meet as a little person, and not an infant. I don't have experience with this, so it challenges me from time to time.  Grace and I must be a lot alike, because we both seem to feel the same way about our relationship.  We have a lot of love for each other, but we also challenge each other and drive each other nuts at times.  I was lucky enough to attend one of the Created for Care retreats last spring.  One of the best parts of the conference (for me) was hearing this common theme from other adoptive parents.  It seemed like many of the conference sessions that I attended involved an adoptive mom admitting that her adoption/relationship with her child was somewhat challenging from time to time.  Many moms openly discussed how hard it was to bring a new child home.  It was refreshing to hear stories from other moms.  It also put my concerns into perspective and made me feel like I was not the only one.  It is just not something you read about on many adoption blogs.  Thanks to those of you who are being honest.

The second thing that continues to be an issue for us right now, is that Grace is more aware of being "different" than she was when she first came home.  She is the only "brown" kid in her class, and she is really noticing this more and more lately.  She wishes that her hair was as smooth and straight as her sister's.  She loves to tell me about it when she sees other kids that look like her (which can be a little strange if we are out in public and she isn't using a quiet voice).  I realize that it is my job as a parent to do my best to interact with other African American  people as much as I can...trouble is, we are not living in a diverse area.  I really didn't think this was going to be a challenge for Grace yet.  I was wrong to assume that we would have time before these issues surfaced.

Truthfully,  adoption = normal family stuff...

Our family is so darn normal, adoption doesn't really change that. 

Grace still struggles with normal stuff, like not wanting to hear the word "no", being told it's time for bed (although she is a total angel when it comes to sleep...no complaints), and trying to find something "fun" to do.  She also doesn't really love having her hair done or having a mom that prefers to pick out her clothes for her ;)  We also deal with the normal family stuff that comes with a family  of six.  Sometimes our kids argue.  Sometimes mom and dad yell.  Sometimes, we forget how lucky we are.

The kids convinced me to go to Golden Corral for dinner while we were on vacation (ugh...I tend to avoid buffet restaurants like the plague), and they were loving the chocolate fountain, dessert bar, and all you can eat cotton candy.

One of the best parts of adopting, is meeting new friends that have also grown their families through adoption.  There is just something about connecting with people through this experience.   It is also super important to stay connected with those friends, because they are some of the people that can really understand the ups and downs of having a child that was adopted.

Grace loves to spend time with other kids who have families that look like ours.

We are so blessed to have all of these wonderful adoption friends and families in our lives...

For us, adoption has also meant falling in love with another country.

What we didn't know, was that the love that we have for Ethiopia would not stop after the excitement of the adoption process was over.

Our love for Ethiopia has not faded since we boarded a plane to come home.  I can not wait until we are able to get on a plane and head right back to Addis Ababa.  In the meantime, it has been a joy to watch our kids fall in love with Ethiopia too.  Alyssa and I are in the middle of working on a great project that I will be sharing soon.  We cherish those who support Grace's homeland, and as a family, we will continue to serve the beautiful people of Ethiopia however we can.

So there you have it, time has definitely gone by quickly...just take a look...

Grace 2010

Grace 2012

Happy Ethiopian New Year!!!

Melkam Addis Amet!! 

Happy Ethiopian New Year!

Since we aren't lucky enough to celebrate the Ethiopian new year at an Ethiopian restaurant, or spend time with our favorite adoptive families and friends, we settled on Ethiopian flags and Africa cookies (my go to treat to celebrate all that is Africa/Ethiopian).  

Today also happened to be "orange day" in kindergarten.  They were all supposed to wear the color orange.  Imagine Grace's teacher's surprise when Grace handed her a beautifully wrapped Africa cookie (complete with a matching Ethiopian colored bow) and wished her "Happy New Year!" first thing this morning...she was a little puzzled, but Grace explained that it is now the year 2005 in Ethiopia!  I love explaining that little factoid to people :)

Well, at least Grace had a (somewhat) orangish shirt (that just so happened to have the continent of Africa on it) to wear to school today.  Perfect!

First Day of Kindergarten!...and 10th Grade, and 7th Grade, and 4th Grade...

The big day has finally come!  

As I type this post, I am home alone...it is quiet...strange.

Grace has been waiting for this day for two years.  She is thrilled to be starting school and can't wait to learn, meet new friends, and stay at school all day.

This mom's heart worries bit because she is the only (as Grace put it) "girl with brown skin" in her class...broke my heart to hear that from her (more to come on that later).  I know she will hold her own and will do just fine. We were blessed to have Grace placed in a kindergarten class with an amazing teacher and friend of mine.  I know that this year will be filled with so many new experiences for Grace, and I can't wait to watch her flourish!

In addition to having a new kindergarten student, we have...

 A 4th Grader

 A 7th Grader (who is not impressed with the sign he was forced to hold)

 and a 10th Grader!

One of the few times that the kids stand next to each other for photos...

As I sit in my house all alone, I think I am at peace with the quiet.  I am pretty sure I will enjoy the lack of noise...or am I just trying to convince myself?  Five years ago I had the same self talk with myself...I had just brought my baby to kindergarten.  I never thought I would be a kindergarten mom again...

Little did I know that God had some other plans for us!

Thank God for allowing us to change our plans and to grow our family and hearts in such an incredible way. 

Who knows what this school year will bring, but for now, I am going to enjoy the start of an exciting chapter.

Happy First Day of School 2012-2013

Thank you Gabby Douglas!!!

We are so excited about Gabby Douglas winning the gold medal for the women's gymnastics individual all-around!!!

What makes this win even sweeter?  She is the first African American to ever win the all-around!!!

The fact that we have Grace watching makes this oh so special.

AND...perfect timing around here...Grace is at her first all-day gymnastics camp today!

Grace's eyes lit up when she saw the gym where she would be spending the day...

Watch out, because Grace may be winning a gold medal in 2024!

An AWESOME book about an amazing Olympian

We had an great time watching the Olympic opening ceremony last night.  

Grace waved her Ethiopian flag proudly when the Ethiopian team entered the stadium.  

This was the first time we were able to celebrate the Olympics with Grace, and I have to say that after traveling to Ethiopia and going through the adoption process, it feels like we have a real connection to Ethiopia.  We did not only adopt a beautiful little three year old girl to come into our family, we adopted the entire country of Ethiopia into our hearts.

Our hearts were so filled with joy when we watched the athletes from Grace's country of birth, marching proudly and holding the Ethiopia flag.

OK...I am serious about the next part of my post...this book is sooooo good!

I heard about the book, it arrived at my house on Thursday, and I finished it today (it's that good!).

It is the autobiography of Lopez Lomong.  He is an Olympic athlete that has lived an incredible life.  

He was born in South Sudan.  He was kidnapped by rebel soldiers when he was six years old.  He escaped the horrors of his captures and eventually fled to Kenya where he lived in a refugee camp for ten years. There were so many amazing parts of his life, but one of the most incredible parts was that he eventually came to the U.S. and is now part of the U.S. Olympic team.  Just a short time ago, he was living in Kenya and running barefoot.  He worked so incredibly hard to reach his goals.  He never gave up hope.  He trusted that God had an amazing plan for him, and he did whatever he could to make his dreams come true.  Lopez also has a foundation that works to improve the lives of other innocent casualties of the Sudanese Civil War. 

Lopez Lomong is a true inspiration.

This is a fantastic book to read right now!  

I CAN NOT wait to see what Lopez does in the 2012 Olympic Games!!!!

You can order the book HERE

Happy Birthday Drew!!!

HAPPY 13TH BIRTHDAY DREW!!!!

I can not believe you are a teenager!!! UGH!!!!  

You continue to amaze us Drew.  You wake up every day ready to start fresh, and you enjoy life so much.

We could learn a lot from you Drew...

...Like how to be a fun brother...most of the time.

...and how to relax and enjoy the moment.

You are never afraid to try something new (including new food)!

Your love of football is contagious (I never thought I would enjoy reading autobiographies of professional football players).

We are so proud of how hard you play and how much time you spend in the hot summer sun getting ready for the season to start!

We could also learn a thing or two about taking time to enjoy the outdoors...your favorite place to be.

And when it comes to learning...you are an excellent "gamer" and can learn how to use just about any piece of technology (you also enjoy teaching others-I never would have been able to figure out the weird Xbox controller without you).

Thanks for your smile.
We love you more than you know.
We are so lucky to be your family.
We look forward to celebrating YOU today and are blessed to be part of your life.
 Thanks for being YOU, and remember that you are an incredible kid (or should I say teenager?)!

Happy Birthday Drewman!!!

Best Birthday Party Idea Ever!!!!!!

I love to celebrate my kids birthdays.  We have had some awesome parties over the years.  Bryce's Mad Scientist party was so much fun...Drew's Paintball party last year was great, and of course, Grace's Tutu party this year was adorable.

When it came time to celebrate Alyssa's 15th birthday, I was thrilled that she decided to make a difference in our community in honor of her special day.  She invited four friends to spend a night doing 15 Random Acts of Kindness.  All I can say is, this was an amazing experience.  We had so much fun and I really believe these girls will remember this night for a long time.  More importantly, they will continue to bless others with random acts of kindness for years to come.

The girls gathered at our house, brainstormed all sorts of ideas of kind things they could do for others, and we headed out the door to get started.  We got some awesome inspiration from fellow bloggers.  When I read this post last year, I tucked the idea away in my mind in hopes that Alyssa would concur that this idea rocks. She did!  Thanks so much to "The B Family" for the inspiration!!!!

1.  The girls headed to a local fountain in the center of our little downtown area.  They wrote "Make A Wish" with sidewalk chalk and scattered a hundred pennies next to the fountain.  It was so darn sweet!  Later that night, we drove by the fountain and saw a family with two little kids picking up pennies next to the fountain!  It was so neat!  The girls also each made a wish.  I have no doubt that Alyssa and her friends' wishes will come true some day, because they are an amazing group of girls! 

2.  Handing our Popsicles at an inner-city park

The night of Alyssa's birthday, it was close to 100 degrees outside.  The girls thought it would be fun to give Popsicles to people at a park.  I was excited to drive the girls to a park that was new to them.  The community that we live in is not very diverse.  The girls had not really ever been to the park or area of town that we visited.  This turned out to be an awesome multi-cultural experience for them.  For a change, the girls were the minorities.  It was great.  They jumped right out of the van and headed to the park armed with their treats.  They approached a large family that was hanging out at the park enjoying some time together.  I watched from the van, and was excited to see the family take the Popsicles from them.  The girls also found a ton of little kids at the park to share with.  It seemed a little bit wrong to be offering treats to kids at a park, but these are kids that were tiny, unsupervised, and were so excited to get a treat!  I decided to get out of the van to make sure nobody was upset that the girls were giving goodies to little kids they didn't know.  No worries.  It just felt like a really kind thing to do.  The weather was so hot and the kids were so happy!

The fun continued when the group of teenagers at the park also began to eye up the goodies.  The girls decided that everyone should have a treat, so they walked right up to the group of teenage boys at the park and offered them some.  Fun times.  I don't think this boy has ever had a very blond, Swedish girl offer him a Popsicle at a park.  

The girls agreed that Random Act of Kindness number 2 was probably their favorite of the night!

3.  Delivered card games (Uno, Disney Princess) to the waiting room on the children's floor of a hospital.

(also offered the valet drivers candy bars from our local chocolate store)

4.  Taped quarters and notes to washing machines and dryers at a laundry mat.  

The girls loved this one too.  They also met a few interesting new "friends" who were spending their Friday night doing laundry. ;)

5.  Buried rolls of nickles at a park in an at-risk neighborhood.  Taped to the roll of quarters was a note that said something about random acts of kindness and how they could pay it forward, etc.

6.  Brought pizzas to our local fire station.  The firefighters were so nice!!!!  They invited the girls in to see the firehouse.  This was also one of the girls' favorites.

7.  Taped inspirational notes to the mirror at Starbucks ("you are beautiful" "you are kind", etc.)

8.  Gave out four movie passes attached to movie sized candy right before customers entered the movie theatre.  This one really confused people.  One couple was really thankful, one was skeptical.  The girls laughed about that.  Funny how people are caught off guard when someone does something really nice for them.

9.  Gave someone a gift card to Starbucks.

10.  Taped quarters and notes to toy/candy vending machines inside of the entrance to a store.

(Alyssa noted that I still probably wouldn't let Grace buy anything from those darn machines even if the money was taped to it...she's probably right...we don't need any more bouncy balls!!!)

11.  Wrote inspirational notes and hid them in books at Barnes & Noble.

12.  Gave a gift card to Barnes & Noble to a little boy who was in the store.  The girls explained that they were doing random acts of kindness and that they wanted him to buy a book.  This was awesome, because he was with his family and they really thought it was cool.  My hope is that some of the people the girls met will continue to pay it forward and bless others.  I suspect this boy and his family will.

13.  Approached a man and his daughter who were in the check-out line at Walmart and gave him a gift card to the store.  The girls said that his reaction was priceless.  They said he was giddy with excitement and was almost brought to tears!  So sweet!

14.  Paid for the person behind us in line at McDonald's.

It was fun to sneak in the drive through and go to the window without an order.  When I drove up, the worker tried to hand me her order, but when I then handed him a Seroogy's candy bar and told him that it was for him and we wanted to pay for the lady behind us, he smiled, laughed, and said "you guys are awesome!"  The girls had fun watching the reaction of the person behind us as we drove away.  

15.  Chose random people out of the phone book and mailed them a card with kind words and a two dollar bill inside.  This was fun because the girls wrote such sweet words.  When we googled the street name of one of the people to find out her zip code, it turned out that she was a resident in a nursing home...made the act of kindness even better!

  And to end the night, the girls rolled up a two dollar bill and encouraging note and attached it to a helium balloon.

The girls ended the night by letting the balloon go and watching it fly away in the starry sky.  

It was a great way to end the night!

What an amazing night. 

What an amazing group of girls. 

Please consider this idea, because in addition to spreading joy to others, these five ladies learned how easy it is to bless others.  They also learned how awesome it feels to do so.

(*Thank you to Jessica for sharing the Random Acts of Kindness printables.  You can find them here. )