Two years ago we passed court...wow...time goes so fast (when you are not waiting for court!)

It's hard to believe that two years have gone by since we got a phone call with the most amazing news...I will never forget it.  I was driving home from subbing and the director of our agency called me on my cell phone. Now, I don't usually talk on the phone while I drive, but when the area code of our agency came up, my heart dropped...I knew that it might be good news.  Susan, the director, asked me if I was sitting down and then proceeded to tell me that we had "passed court."  Our agency had a policy of not telling families when they were going to have a court date.  They preferred to wait to tell families when they had everything in order and the child was already cleared by the Ethiopian courts.  I know things are very different now, but I have to say, this was a very sweet way of finding out that Grace was legally our daughter.  

two years ago...our referral picture

so sweet...holding a chunk of bread and standing with a sign that said "Hiwot, F/3"

now...

What a miracle.  I am still in awe of how smoothly everything went.  

After we received the news that we "passed court,"  it was only two short months until we were heading to Ethiopia to meet and bring home our sweet girl.

We were so blessed...  

I continue to pray for families who are waiting for their referral and for families who are caught up in the middle of newer policies and procedures.  

"For this child I prayed and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him."

1 Samuel 1:27

"It's More Than Just Dance"

Alyssa and I are heading to Chicago this weekend for a dance competition.

It may seem a bit crazy to non-dance people, but I have learned that these weekends are about more than the competitions.

Alyssa dances at a very nice studio.  Their philosophy is "It's More Than Just Dance."

I tend to agree...

It is so awesome to see my daughter have the confidence to get up on stage and perform.  She is a wonderful dancer and her skills continue to grow and mature.  She is committed to doing her best at all times.  She loves to be challenged by the teachers and professional choreographers that they hire to inspire their dancers.  Dancers learn teamwork, goal-setting, and so much about character building.

I am so proud of Alyssa.  She spends so many hours a week at the dance studio.  It is definitely a home away from home.  She has been at the same studio for eleven years!  She goes to dance at least three days a week and is often not home until close to ten o'clock at night.  I also have to point out that Alyssa dances on her high school dance team and is an excellent student

 (we are equally proud of her academic achievements!).

So, as Alyssa and I pack to head out of town, I can't help but reflect...

dance lessons....  $74 million dollars (ok, I may be exaggerating a tiny bit)

 costumes...$500.00

 shoes...$150.00

 duet lessons...$less than 74 million

 fun new tshirts designed with the help of my new (fellow adoptive mom) friend Rachel...$15

 spending five weekends out of town every year with my awesome teenage daughter...PRICELESS!

Being different can be hard for a five year old...

I am pretty sure that Grace has noticed from time to time that she is the only brown skinned person around.  

Around her preschool class,

around the local grocery store,

around her dance class,

around the local library,

around our house.

I know that we are supposed to try to find other families that resemble ours to hang out with.

I know that we need to be friends with people of different races.

I know that we are supposed to have connections with African American doctors, teachers, and leaders, but it is just not always possible in Northeast Wisconsin.

We are doing our best.  

We are blessed to know friends that have adopted children from Ethiopia.  We are neighbors with our beautiful little friend (and Goddaughter) from Guatemala.  We see all kinds of families at church.  There are (a few) kids in her Sunday school class that were also adopted.  There are the occasional Green Bay Packer sightings around town, but...

The local school district's pupil services director told me (at kindergarten registration) that the district is becoming more "diverse."  I believe he said we are at about eight percent.  Yup, a whopping eight percent of the students in the district make up this "diversity."

We read tons of beautifully written children's books that describe differences, race, identity, different kinds of families, etc.

We have African artwork around the house.

We honor Grace's culture as much as we can.

I've showed Grace how we are all the same on the inside (with the brown and white egg experiment)...a great idea from a fellow blogger...she was a little excited by this, 

But...it is still hard for the individual who is unique and different.

Grace can be quite the novelty around here.

All we have to do is take Grace to Alyssa's dance studio or dance team practice at the high school, and we can watch Alyssa's dance friends go crazy over her.  She is different.  She is cute. She has cool hair. 

 She doesn't always like the attention.  I have seen the self confident, spunky, outgoing little girl we know, turn into a quiet, shy, uncommunicative little stranger.  

She just wants to fit in sometimes.

(By the way, I often point out to people that Grace is as SMART as she is cute-let's not forget her other amazing qualities) 

It breaks my heart when she says something about wanting straight blond hair or light skin.

A teenage girl from California did a youtube video to show how makeup can transform her severely acne prone skin into model-like perfection using make up. Her make up totally changes the look of her skin.

So when Grace and I were watching this video on youtube (I know, not the most impressive way to spend a morning at home...but hey, she was featured on The Today Show and I was intrigued), it broke my heart when Grace said..."maybe I could use make up like that to cover up my brown skin..."

Oh Sweetie!

We always tell her how beautiful her skin is.  She has the most beautiful complexion!  It seems like we talk about her skin almost every time she watches me do my makeup.  She is always told she needs to protect her pretty skin when she puts on sunscreen.  

I am not sure the message is sinking in to Grace...YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and were PERFECTLY created exactly the way God intended for you to look.  You were BLESSED with your curly hair and smooth, dark skin. 

It is still hard.  She will struggle.  So will we.  We will continue to compliment her and remind her of her beauty.  We will continue to seek out friends of all colors and we will never stop telling her how amazing she is inside and out.  

I just wish it was easier for Grace to see her beauty and not just that she is "cute" because she is different.

(check it out...it's a little long, but I am very impressed with this young girl and how she was willing to bare it all to show other young girls how she copes with her severe acne situation)

Pinterest Picks...

I'm not a fool.  I know my limitations.  I know that if I sit down at the computer for "a couple of minutes,"  it can turn into an hour if I'm not careful. I have tried very hard to limit my time on Pinterest, but I will not apologize for using it.  I do not feel guilty for this little pleasure.  I love to try new recipes and find great ideas online, and can honestly say that I use Pinterest.  I have discovered some great recipes and really cool ideas.    When ever we try something new, my kids will say "did you find this idea on Pinterest?"  

Here are a few of our recent favorites...

Grace loved making this snack for her preschool class.

 Cauliflower poppers...yum!

 PF Chang lettuce wraps... my favorite!

 Honey lime chicken enchiladas

And last, but not least...I am anxiously awaiting a reason to try this idea...

Lime Sorbet Margaritas

Have a great weekend!  I'd love to hear all about your favorite Pinterest picks!

Breaking An Adoption Rule...Keeping it Real

(Grace at a really cool park on a "not very special" day at home)

The week after our fabulous Easter, we were able to spend a lot of time at home.  It was the "big" kids' spring break from school.  We were able to sleep in, relax, and spend time together.  Grace was taking a bath on Monday morning (THE DAY AFTER EASTER!) when she said to me ...  "I sure hope we do something special today (dramatic emphasis on special), because yesterday was really not that special (dramatic emphasis on that). We only did three things (dramatic emphasis on three)."

  AH...EXCUSE ME?

I about lost my mind.

What has happened to this little girl from Ethiopia???

Then I proceeded to break one of the rules that my social worker (If you are still reading our blog Mary, you were right) told me I would be tempted to break...

She explained that as adoptive parents, we would be tempted to bring up the past in a way that gave our child a sense of "you are so lucky to be here" sort of way.  Ummm...totally did that.

I started by telling my spoiled little diva  sweet Grace that I think we DID have a very special day the day before.  I asked Grace if she thought she would have been able to have a day like that while she lived in Ethiopia.  I explained that doing any ONE thing made for a special day, but three special things?  Are you kidding me???  I went into a little rant about how the kids in her old orphanage probably spent the day.  I asked her if she thought they hunted for Easter baskets, went to the zoo, or went out for a fancy dinner...

I was so crabby with her.

Then I got to thinking...why is it so much harder for me to stomach her not being appreciative?  If my other (homegrown) kids had said something like that, I probably would have ranted a bit, but it really socked me in the stomach more when Grace said it.  

I think I expect her to appreciate things more because of where she has been and what she has already endured.  That is wrong.  I know better.  It is not fair for me to expect that a five year old girl can distinguish the difference between the blessings we take for granted and the life she used to live.

My heart was sad, but the bottom line was a struggle that I continue to have daily...I repeatedly question who really has it better; all of us living in the U.S., or the beautiful people I met in Ethiopia?  This question may sound crazy to people who haven't been there, but when I saw the pure joy and hope that exists in Ethiopia, it makes me crazy to think that we want more here...we expect so much...we are so darn overindulgent!  

Well, I don't have the answer to the question of who is better off.  I know that we are richly blessed with food and medical care in the United States.  I know that I would not last too long as a missionary in a third world country (I AM very soft in many ways), yet I long for the joy and hope that I saw in the faces of those in Ethiopia.

Thoughts?

Our Nontraditional Easter

Last Easter, we decided to start a new family tradition.  We made our own plans for Easter.  Our families were traveling or going out to brunch together, but we decided to break tradition and do something new.

So began our new Easter "tradition." We had so much fun that we decided to do the exact same thing this year.

After searching the house for hidden Easter baskets, we headed to church.  It was a sunny day and we were excited to be on our way to spend time worshiping/celebrating (apparently the entire city decided to join us this year, and we barely found seats in church! ~ might have something to do with our arrival time...who knew it would take so long to find baskets and get dressed up?).

Our new tradition began with a trip to the Milwaukee Zoo.  We live about two hours from the zoo, but we love to visit each year.  The weather was great.  The zoo was almost empty (after all, who goes to the zoo on Easter?...).  We were able to enjoy the exhibits and relax as we strolled around the zoo in search of our favorite animals.

There are so many cool animals from Africa!

Bryce did a research project and diorama about pythons this spring, so it was fun to see them up close.

Looks like the giraffe is telling Drew a "secret."

Our tradition continues when we leave the zoo and head to our favorite Ethiopian restaurant.  

Grace was excited (we all were).  We have really come to love Ethiopian food.

As you can imagine, the Ethiopian restaurant was also a little on the empty side.  We are spoiled when we go there, because it is not usually busy.  It's a bummer to live 2 hours from the closest Ethiopian restaurant, which means we eat A LOT when we do visit.

Two sad notes about the restaurant visit...first, Grace did not want to wear one of her Ethiopian dresses.  I didn't force her.  The staff at the restaurant loves it when she comes in and it makes them happy to see her in her traditional clothes.  It turned out that when we got to the restaurant, Grace wanted the dress!  We hadn't brought it, so she opted for the dress she wore to church.  Second sad note:  we always ask the staff to try to speak to her in Amharic.  We have done this before and Grace will answer their questions (in English). The last time we visited, about nine months ago, she was able to understand the Amharic.  This time, Grace just looked at the sweet waitress, looked at me, and said, "I don't really  understand what she is saying."  It was bound to happen, but it still makes me sad.  I really hoped she would remember a word or two, but it is all fading (right along with her sweet accent that is now nonexistent).

Bryce and Alyssa have learned that they love Sambusa (an appetizer).  We actually get FOUR orders and it becomes their meal.

Grace ate so much.  She said, "I am so full, but I love it and want to eat more!"

She was full and exhausted, and she slept all the way home.

What a wonderful Easter. 

 Now that we have done this two years in a row, it is an official tradition.

Favorite Easter Video...two years in a row...

We first discovered this video last Easter.  It is still a favorite...Enjoy!

I prefer the video to this version of the Easter season:

Happy Easter!!!